hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
