Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
