This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
