Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish i was in the wii world.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
