So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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