jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
