Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
