Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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