i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
