I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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