if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
