if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
