I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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