Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
this will be a night to untag.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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