What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
