Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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