Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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