I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
