but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize