did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
