you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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