I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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