Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
