That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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