I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
