I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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