Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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