She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
