quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
