They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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