you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize