I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
