so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
