she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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