So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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