Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
