In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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