i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
