I wannas sexs uuuuu
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize