I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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