Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
