i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
