Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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