I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
