Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
