This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
