Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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