Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
