u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
