I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
