I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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