they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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