D3 body, D1 cock
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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