so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
