i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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