my mouth tastes like poor choices
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
