I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
