Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
