I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize