I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
