Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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