Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
