2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
