I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we made out on top of his cat.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it because I queefed?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
