if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
