kristin has been a bad kristin
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize