suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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