I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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