Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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