I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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