If that was your dad, he is hot
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
