Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize