Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
