Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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