She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
