so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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