shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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