but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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