Say something about gay babies.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
