this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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