Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
