Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
